If you wish to make an upcoming birthday a enjoyable and lighthearted celebration then at present’s submit will assist you out.
In it I wish to share 91 of the wittiest and most humorous birthday quotes about youth, getting old and life.
Use one or a few them in a card, in a textual content or a social media submit on for instance Instagram.
Or just use one in every of them in your birthday speech to your pal, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you’re celebrating to make them snicker and make their big day much more enjoyable.
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Buddies (and Your Finest Buddy)
“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you may keep immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash
“I imagine you forgot my birthday current final 12 months, so now I’m returning the favor. Pleased Birthday!”
– Unknown
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and any person’s drunk within the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years expertise.”
– Unknown
“Wanting fifty is nice – should you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Inside each older individual is a youthful individual – questioning what the hell occurred.”
– Jennifer Yane
“Life is a reasonably good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“The older you get, the higher you get. Until you’re a banana.”
– Betty White
“The key of staying younger is to reside truthfully, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“Age is strictly a case of thoughts over matter. Should you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny
“Birthdays are nature’s approach of telling us to eat extra cake.”
– Unknown
“A pal by no means defends a husband who will get his spouse an electrical skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Age isn’t vital until you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“I’m at an age when my again goes out greater than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I imagine in loyalty. When a girl reaches an age she likes, she ought to keep it up.”
– Eva Gabor
“My grandmother began strolling 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know the place the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres
“Ultimately you attain some extent while you cease mendacity about your age and begin bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers
“The primary hundred years are the toughest.”
– Wilson Mizner
“When a person has a birthday, he takes a day without work. However when my spouse has a birthday, she takes a 12 months or two off.”
– Joan Rivers
“From delivery to age 18, a woman wants good dad and mom. From 18 to 35, she wants attractiveness. From 35 to 55, she wants a superb character. From 55 on, she wants good money.”
– Sophie Tucker
Brief and Humorous Birthday Quotes on Getting Older
“ you’re getting outdated when the candles price greater than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“Age is a matter of thoughts over matter. Should you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“You’re in mint situation for a classic mannequin. Pleased Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Outdated age is like every part else. To make a hit of it, you’ve bought to start out younger.”
– Fred Astaire
“Don’t fear about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it’s going to keep away from you.”
– Joey Adams
“A diplomat is a person who all the time remembers a girl’s birthday however by no means remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“I’ll by no means be an outdated man. To me, outdated age is all the time 15 years older than I’m.”
– Francis Bacon
“Simply keep in mind, when you’re over the hill you start to select up velocity.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“I used to be introduced as much as respect my elders, so now I don’t should respect anyone.”
– George Burns
“There’s nonetheless no remedy for the frequent birthday.”
– John Glenn
“ you’ve aged while you learn occasions you lived in a historical past e-book.”
– Will Ferrell
“Age is a quantity and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown
“Rising outdated is necessary; rising up is optionally available.”
– Chili Davis
“ you’re getting outdated while you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See should you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“Center age is while you nonetheless imagine you’ll really feel higher within the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“As you grow old, three issues occur. The primary is your reminiscence goes, and I can’t keep in mind the opposite two.”
– Norman Knowledge
“ you’re getting outdated when every part hurts. And what doesn’t damage doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner
“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you could be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier
“Every little thing that goes up should come down. However there comes a time when not every part that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns
“We don’t develop outdated. Once we stop to develop, we grow to be outdated.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Girls on Ageing Gracefully
“Like many ladies my age, I’m 28 years outdated.”
– Mary Schmich
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“I don’t want you to remind me of my age. I’ve a bladder to try this for me.”
– Stephen Fry
“At all times be good to your youngsters as a result of they’re those who will select your relaxation residence.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I don’t plan to develop outdated gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts till my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner
“ you’ve reached center age while you’re cautioned to decelerate by your physician, as a substitute of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers
“A superb rule to recollect for all times is that on the subject of cosmetic surgery and sushi, by no means be attracted by a discount.”
– Graham Norton
“Individuals say, ‘The way you keep wanting so younger?’ I say, properly, good lighting, good medical doctors, and good make-up.”
– Dolly Parton
“My face carries all my reminiscences. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg
“Ageing appears to be the one obtainable approach to reside a protracted life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve bought so many wrinkles; I must be sponsored by a prune firm!”
– Unknown
“Wrinkles ought to merely point out the place the grins have been.”
– Mark Twain
“Pay attention. I want I may let you know it will get higher. However, it doesn’t get higher. You get higher.”
– Joan Rivers
“Ageing gracefully means being versatile, being open, permitting change, having fun with change, and loving your self.”
– Wendy Whelan
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Males on the Inevitable Modifications in Life
“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that will triple its worth yearly. I instructed him, ‘At my age, I don’t even purchase inexperienced bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper
“A person has reached center age when he’s warned to decelerate by his physician as a substitute of the police.”
– Henry Youngman
“After I was a boy the Useless Sea was solely sick.”
– George Burns
“Center age is when your broad thoughts and slim waist start to vary locations.”
– E. Joseph Cossman
“You’re solely as outdated as the girl you are feeling.”
– Groucho Marx
“Anybody could be assured with a full head of hair. However a assured bald man – there’s your diamond within the tough.”
– Larry David
“In center age, the soul must be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes
“Center age is the awkward interval when Father Time begins catching up with Mom Nature.”
– Harold Coffin
“I’m more than happy to be right here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m more than happy to be anyplace.”
– George Burns
“Center age is while you’re confronted with two temptations and also you select the one that can get you residence by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I imply, I’m not a child anymore. I may go tomorrow. And I hope I’m going tomorrow. I haven’t gone at present but.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“Life’s a brief journey. You’ll discover out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“I’ve been in remedy. I do know sufficient about myself now to know that I actually don’t have to know anymore.”
– Larry David
“Center age is while you’ve met so many individuals that each new individual you meet reminds you of another person.”
– Ogden Nash
“The one approach to maintain your well being is to eat what you don’t need, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d fairly not.”
– Mark Twain
“Pleased Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s sensible, humorous, and handsome, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all of your greatest qualities.”
– Good/Good Little one
“Outdated age is while you resent the swimsuit challenge of Sports activities Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.”
– George Burns
“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Coworkers
“Why is a birthday cake the one meals you may blow on and spit on, and all people rushes to get a bit?”
– Bobby Kelton
“Yearly on my birthday, I begin a brand new playlist titled after my present age so I can maintain observe of my favourite songs of the 12 months as a kind of musical diary as a result of I’m a teenage woman.”
– Chris Hardwick
“Due to trendy medical advances akin to antibiotics, nasal spray, and Weight loss plan Coke, it has grow to be routine for folks within the civilized world to cross the age of 40, typically greater than as soon as.”
– Dave Barry
“True terror is to get up one morning and uncover that your highschool class is operating the nation.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“The purpose of life is to take every part that made you bizarre as a child and get folks to pay you cash for it while you’re older.”
– David Freeman
“ you’re getting outdated when all of the names in your black e-book have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford
“We may definitely gradual the getting old course of down if it needed to work its approach by Congress.”
– Will Rogers
“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns
“Preventing getting old is just like the Struggle on Medication. It’s costly, does extra hurt than good, and has been confirmed to by no means finish.”
– Amy Poehler
“The getting old course of isn’t gradual or light. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer
“I used to be fascinated with how folks appear to learn the Bible much more as they grow old, after which it dawned on me – they’re cramming for his or her ultimate examination.”
– George Carlin
“Outdated age comes at a nasty time.”
– San Banducci
“Don’t let getting old get you down. It’s too arduous to get again up.”
– John Wagner
“Center age is while you’re sitting at residence on a Saturday night time and the phone rings, and also you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns
“We don’t cease enjoying as a result of we develop outdated. We develop outdated as a result of we cease enjoying.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“If I’d recognized I used to be going to reside this lengthy, I’d have taken higher care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“I’ve too many wrinkles to have this little cash!”
– Cathy Guisewite
“ you’re getting outdated while you stoop to tie your shoelaces and surprise what else you are able to do when you’re down there.”
– George Burns
“It’s true, some wine improves with age. However provided that the grapes had been good within the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren
Need extra inspiration for celebrations developing quickly? Then try these inspirational birthday quotes, the quick birthday quotes on this submit and the inspirational marriage ceremony quotes right here. Plus, this one with quick marriage ceremony quotes.
